BrickBlog

Well, it's that time of year again. The Texas-OU football game will be played this upcoming Saturday afternoon. For those who don't follow college football, I will give a brief synopsis of what this game means.

The University of Texas has played the University of Oklahoma (or "OU," as the apparently dyslexic Oklahoma football boosters refer to their school) Sooners in football for some 90+ years. Despite some recent embarrassing setbacks against the Evil Ones, Texas holds a roughly 20 game advantage in the overall series. The game is played every year in Dallas, Texas, which is roughly halfway between Austin (the gloriously scenic home of the University of Texas) and Norman, Oklahoma (one of the most regrettably filthy cesspools on Earth). The setting and dynamic of the game are surreal. The two teams clash in the historic art deco era Cotton Bowl, which is located in the heart of the Texas State fairgrounds, during the peak weekend of the State Fair. Outside of the stadium, fairgoers and football fans alike enjoy Fletcher's Corny Dogs, beer and vomit-inducing thrill rides. Inside the stadium, the fans are divided on the 50-yard line into two equally-numbered groups: orange-clad Texas fans on one side and drooling, Crimson-clad morons from the Indian Territory on the other. It has been said that when the Sooner football team (renowned student-athletes all) crosses the 50-yard line into their school's territory, it raises the average IQ of both sides of the stadium by 40 points. In any case, here is a reproduction of the highlights of an old Texas-OU thread from Hornfans.com that was posted a few years back.

Many thanks go to jcdenton for keeping a database of the great Hornfans.com posts of the past and providing me with the text.

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Absolute Truth

Statalyzer:

If nothing can be 100% proven... then how do we really know for a fact that o u sucks?

BrickHorn:

There's always an exception to the rule. OU's suckage is clearly transcendent of individual logical systems - it applies equally to all conceivable realities. There is no feasible universe in which OU would not suck (assuming it existed). Every philosopher since the golden age of ancient Greece has agreed that, if ever a university of Oklahoma were founded, it would suck. Since the founding of Trailer Park U., it has been evident that the early hypothetical theories of Plato, Socrates and Thomas Aquinas were indeed correct. OU was founded, it sucked, it currently sucks and it will always suck. Modern theorists have noted the amazing accuracy of the early theories, and have seen no need for further revision. Rather, luminaries such as Ayn Rand, Nietzsche and Descartes have been satisfied to merely comment on OU's suckage in complete agreement with the ancient wisdom, and give reassurance that there is no feasibility of OU making a state change from suckage to non-suckage. It is a superuniversal truth. OU sucks. OU has sucked, OU still sucks and OU will continue to suck ad infinitum.

Doperbo:

It is telling that only through the emotional journey of art and poetry can we experience or categorize the omnisuckeficense that is Oklahoma.

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Hook 'Em Horns, and beat the Hell out of OU!!!!!